A night at the Nick!

So, we had a fairly eventful night on Saturday and I got a chance to experience the Chinese Police in action, always a treat!

Six of us had consumed a few beers and wines at Blue Frog (see previous post! and Sultan Turkish restaurant who were having a Chezch beer promotion night - never behind the door when it comes to free beer, I was in heaven!

We then paid a brief visit to a bar we haven't been to before, The Leg and Whistle which was ok but the spirt of Terpsichore was upon us and we made a way to Cafe Panam(e), my favourite dance bar. It's french owners and staff (maybe Cameroonian but not sure) are always up for some ridiculously cool music and dancing and always make this 55 year old fat white fella feel very welcome and are generally very accepting of my dance floor eccentricities.

So, Olina, Madi and I were strutting our respective English, South African and Chinese stuff and I was beginning to look like I'd been fighting Amir Khan in a sauna, in a fat suit when Olina noticed her hand bag was missing! This feels like a really iunusual thing in China, I've never been anywhere I've felt so safe (mind I'm from Hackney originally and have lived in some dodgy places in my time!)

Well, Olina told the bar staff and they looked at the CCTV and not only spotted the guy taking the bag, he was still in the bar (Duh!) Next bit quite exciting - they get hold of him, and these are some big and athletic guys and called the police! They didn't mess about and had him in cuffs before you could say 'evening all!) and also his dumb mates who were watching from the sidelines - I'd had a fag with them and told them their friend was a naughty man but sadly they didn't pay attention at school and had no English at all! I tried my Chinese on them but sadly they weren't impressed with my ability to count or recite the names of metro stops to them - they also didn't seem to bothered that I was able to order food - I don't know if they realise how hard it is to learn Chinese and I was making little headway. Anyway, they were soon in cuffs as well and even less talkative than they had been before - takes a lot to please some people!

Olina wanted to hit the naughty men but I managed to convince her that despite the temporary pleasure she may get from this, the sight of her in hand cuffs might not help her own career - although it's a photo that I'd be publishing here - for a balanced and fair report!

I ended up in the back of the police car with Thief No.1 who resisted my witty banter "Hand bad to hand cuffs in 5 minutes eh?" and "I'm sure if you were that desperate for some lipstick, you could have asked!" - Nothing!

After a few hours and some excellent police work, the bag was returned - mainly I think down to a 14 year old boy detective - he may not have been 14 but when I asked if I could take his picture he said no because "my mum doesn't know I'm out this late, she thinks I'm asleep in my bedroom" Anyway, age seemed no barrier to this young Sherlock and order was eventually restored to the world - apart form the naughty men who I assume will be repaying their debt to society in one way or another.

Big shout out to the guys at Club Panam(e) - they were magnificent and I shall definitely be returning to help them with their dance moves!

Later peeps!